Some of us wait patiently all year to put together a tasteful holiday tableau out on the lawn, planning a cute little Rudolph here and a winding garland there. Other folks go right ahead and give outdoor Christmas decor a bad name.
Oddball, creepy, over the top—you name it, and you can find it on every social channel and probably down the street in your own neighborhood.
Maybe it’s because people aren’t willing to let go of Halloween, with its shock value, when Yuletime rolls around? Or perhaps these crazy looks are due to a few loose screws?
Who knows? But what is clear is that every time the season begins, we’re left just shaking our heads.
Still, let’s be honest: Rubbernecking at these holiday equivalents of car wrecks can be amusing—and, for those who need a little extra guidance, can teach you about exactly what not to do in your front yard.
Whatever your reason, read on if you feel like having a gander at the looniest, most crazy-town, outdoor holiday looks.
1. Never hand a snowman a hairdryer
It’s bad enough that many communities are facing an uptick in crime in real life. Do we need our holiday blow-up lawn decorations getting in on the act?
Not much holiday spirit on display here, and matters aren’t helped by the bandit wielding a blow-dryer rather than a gun: Threatening to melt poor Frosty is pitiful. Also, moisture and electricity don’t mix. This one is a no-go from every angle.
2. Santa should not be breaking and entering
We get it: Not all homes have a working chimney Santa can pass through.
Still, having him try to break and enter through a window or from the fire escape is not the answer. For that matter, there is only one Santa—way to go confusing the kids.
3. With shiny baubles, more is not more
Wow—just wow. This decor has zero sense of scale or restraint. It’s a miracle that this rainbow ball scheme is actually staying put on this home (kudos to the person behind the scenes!).
This petite house is loud and proud, though, and we’re actually going to give it a thumbs-up for sheer ball-siness.
4. Don’t go overboard with the lights
Christmas is the season of light, but this display is borderline crazy-town. We’re pretty sure this dude has his own substation to power his display and doesn’t flinch when the electric bill arrives.
Let’s hope he turns the colossal assemblage off at night, so his neighbors don’t have to sleep bathed in twinkling light.
5. Stay away from skeletons
Here’s where we lament the fact that some homeowners think it’s perfectly fine to mix Day of the Dead and Halloween pieces with presents under the tree.
We suppose if you’re also a Grateful Dead fan, this montage could be considered acceptable. But if not, please do the right thing and save the bone men for next October.
6. Enough with the inflatables
When your inflatable is larger than your domicile, you need to rethink your outdoor holiday decor.
Don’t let a menacing balloon loom this large—babies will cry, dogs will bark, and your friends will think you’ve gone around the bend.
7. Reindeer should look cute rather than creepy
It’s nice that these critters reuse a natural resource—we’re all for going green at the holidays and avoiding plastic and other bits that clog up the ocean.
But we’re just not certain this is the way to do it. The “antlers” look ready to poke someone’s eye out, in the immortal words of “A Christmas Story,” and those bows? Too big, and they sure don’t suit the naturalistic theme.
8. You don’t have to fill your whole yard
Someone likes decorating their yard for the holidays. We mean, really, really likes it.
The crowded results—almost like an overpacked cocktail party or some crazy post-Christmas tag sale—wind up just making passers-by dizzy. Our advice: Do the right thing, and offer at least half of these to your neighbors.
9. Stick to snow sculptures rather than real ones
Frankly, we’re not sure what this girl is doing in the yard or why someone felt the need to dress her in pine boughs.
All we know is we’re getting some uncomfortable “Midsommar” vibes. But if odd nature figures are your thing, we’re not here to stop you.
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